


Fun House

by RubySprinkles



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 17:23:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7942843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubySprinkles/pseuds/RubySprinkles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jonny Frost reflects on how his life hasn't changed at all since Harley Quinn stepped on the scene.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fun House

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoy it!

If anyone had asked him before he would have said "Nah...the boss just ain't that in to it." Probably would have scoffed a little while he said it too. Not that anyone would have dared to asked him about the Jokers sexual preferences.

But then the boss had conjured up his own personal Bride of Frankenstein and suddenly he was very, very in to it. She was too apparently. She wailed and shrieked and gibbered and moaned like she was having a goddamned religious experience. 

Every time.

"Oh Pudin, Pudin,yes, oh! Oh Daddy!"

All the time.

And then the boss would come wafting out with the stench of sex and sometimes blood or battery acid, and just looking so smug. 

Jonny supposed it made sense... No one was ever happy to see the boss. No one except her. She lit up like Christmas and the Fourth of July and getting a puppy for your eighth birthday all rolled in to one every time he walked in to a room. It was probably very gratifying for a man like the boss.

He'd been there of course, at the start of... Whatever this was. 

"Frosty!" The boss had crowed, almost jubilantly in to the phone. "Bring the car down to ace chemicals. And bring someone to get my car. And bring my robe." A pause. Jonny had learned to Never Hang Up on the Joker. He'd let you know when the conversation was over "and one for the lady." The call was disconnected; the conversation was over.

Jonny had no idea why the joker also wanted a ladies bathrobe, but if the boss asked him to bring "one for the lady" he'd damn well bring a second robe... He borrowed one from one of the girls at the club. Red silk with a black dragon embroidered on the back; real classy like. 

He sent the text "we're here boss" when they pulled up to the chemical plant and then they waited, and waited. Jonny was relatively sure the boss hadn't wandered off... His car was still there. Just before he decided to go have a look the loading bay door burst open. The Joker had clearly kicked it open with one of his bare feet; his arms were occupied with a pale, pale bundle all wrapped up in his purple coat. 

"Ah, Frosty!" The boss had beamed and turned to set the woman down in the shadows that were dark enough to keep Jonny from getting a good look at her. Not that he tried very hard. Another rule Jonny had learned was Wait for the Punchline. When he was supposed to acknowledge whatever the hell was going on here the boss would let him know. For now Jonny just held out the luridly purple bathrobe and ignored the boss' nakedness and the woman slumped in the shadows. Growling in satisfaction the Joker held out his hand and Jonny handed him the other robe, his face a perfect blank mask, his eyes focused on the middle distance. "Ooooh... Very nice" the boss had purred, turning back towards the heap in the shadows. Jonny took that as his cue to gesture to Eddie to get out of the car, conveniently turning away from what ever the boss was doing. When he turned back the woman was on her feet and in the red and back silk, what little light there was gleaming off her impossibly pale legs and hair. 

"Eddie!"The boss shouted tossing first keys and then coat in that general direction. "Take my coat and have it cleaned." He commanded, guiding the woman towards the car "and clean up that mess inside." Then the boss and the strange woman were in the backseat and Jonny was back behind the wheel, not noticing at all the way the woman curled in to the boss or the way he held her close purring and murmuring the whole way home. 

Jonny Frost had gotten very good at not noticing things. 

He hadn't noticed anything about the woman until the next morning when the boss called him into his bedroom and there she was sitting on the edge of the bed in one of Jokers designer shirts. "Jonny, this is Harley Quinn." The boss had introduced her with a flourish. Jonny was mildly surprised to see it was the psychiatrist he'd held down for the boss at Arkham asylum. He was even more surprised to see that she was now as pale as the Joker with fever bright eyes and a little heart inked in to her cheek. "And Harley, baby, this is Jonny Frost, you just tell Frosty if you need anything." 

Her eyes had ghosted over Jonny before turning solemnly to the Joker "I don't need anything Pudin', only you." The Joker had smiled, a real smile with real warmth that for some reason had made Jonny's skin try to crawl away. Then he chucked her under the chin "Ain't she a pip?" He'd beamed to Jonny before tuning back to Harley.

"Now Pumpkin Pie, we can't have you just wandering around... Dressed like... That..." the boss had trailed off, just staring intensely at her before snapping his head to glare at Jonny "No! No no no. You need" He gestured wildly "clothes! And I don't know, shoes? Shampoo? Woman... Things? What ever you want. Just tell Jonny and he'll see to it your needs are provided for."

Harley turned her too bright eyes to Jonny "So you're like, the butler?" She asked in her nails down a chalk board squeak. And of course the boss had laughed. 

And so Jonny had provided the things she needed; clothes and shoes and shampoo and makeup and guns and plush toys and sex toys and jewelry and a comically large mallet. Some things she asked for and some things the boss presented her and Jonny had to use all his skill at not noticing as the boss rebuilt her from the inside out, like some sort of demented Minnie Mouse; a female version of himself for himself. 

Jonny continued to not notice as her blank page skin had filled with tattoos just like the boss’s. He didn’t notice as the boss coaxed the viscous animal inside of her out of it’s cage of morals. Or the way the boss taught her to appreciate his own brand of humor. Or when she started to be involved in business deals. Or when those business deals went south because some cog in the Jokers big machine had failed treat the boss’ girl with the appropriate respect. 

He didn’t notice any of it. He just went on like she had always been there. And now if any of the new recruits dared to ask him about it he would still scoff and shut down that line of questioning real quick. Wondering about the boss’s sex life wasn’t part of the job he'd tell them. And if they could’t figure that out they wouldn’t last long.


End file.
